“Fighting all the usual workout excuses!” Weight Loss Diary

Written by: on Tuesday, March 6th, 2012
Melissa Juliano, Weight Loss Diarist for Valerielatona.com

This is where I started...and where I never want to be again.

4 pm I’m hearing voices. Right now I’m engaging them in frustrating banter.  I know how to shut them right off but instead, I am spending a lot of energy negotiating them into silence.

You need to run.

I’m sick. I’m tired.

You need to try

But I can barely breathe. I have bronchitis!

Then why don’t you use your inhaler? You know it will help.

Hmm…good question

Maybe you’re trying to sabotage yourself.  Wheezing and shortness of breath is a good reason not to run.  You would even tell your patients that

No comment

You need to run.  You will feel better. You KNOW you will feel better.

Melissa Juliano, Weight Loss Diarist for Valerielatona.com

And this is where I am now...not at my goal yet, but I've come a long way!

Maybe I’ll try walking, see how it goes.

 

This is where I start to feel those jets of fire in my stomach. Adrenaline. Anxiety, which raises my cortisol levels and works hard to keep me fat and lazy.

 

Okay, let’s start over and try to be more positive.  Run 1 mile.  Take a hit on the puffer first so you can breathe.

It’s upstairs.

You can run a mile but not go up the stairs?

Sigh.

I didn’t hear any wheezing with that sigh.  Just 1 mile.  You can do anything for 1 mile.  12 minutes at worst.  Maybe 10 minutes if you just get going…

But I’m tired.

You are tired every day.

I don’t sleep.  I spend so much time not sleeping.

Then get out of bed and run.  Do yoga.  Do something!!  It will help.

Okay, I’m going upstairs for the inhaler and to get dressed.  Now leave me alone.

 

5:30pm

I did 2.7 miles with an average pace of 11 minutes, 9 seconds per mile.  Respectable.  Commendable considering less than 2 hours ago I never wanted to exercise in the first place.  When I run, the Saboteur Me proudly carries the Motivator Me high atop shoulders to victory.  Cue music.  But really, there is only one voice when I run.  I chant to the rhythm of my feet striking the treadmill:

I am runner

I am fitness

I am healthy

I am wellness

I am faster

I am stronger

I am endurance

I am getting there

Over and over and over … until l reach my goal.  Which was 1 mile while I was avoiding, 20 minutes while I was dressing and 30 minutes when I stepped on the belt.  And I did it!